Is it really your job, the bills, the kids, or even the traffic that has you stressed out? Is it "stress" that causes your blood pressure to rise, your shoulders to knot, your head to ache, your stomach to feel queasy, and those sleepless nights?

Believe it or not, the answer is NO. The true source of stress is how you perceive or think about these events. That may sound like an annoying answer but it’s a crucial point. There is hard science to back up the fact that, if you believe a situation is a threat to your physical or psychological well being (whether it is or not), then your body reacts as if it is a life threatening event. What makes this even trickier is that most of these beliefs are unconscious and hard to control.

Can you imagine reacting as if your life was in danger many times a day? You would be exhausted in no time. Ironically, many of us live our lives in just that way. When we race traffic to get to work on time, or walk into a job interview, our bodies react as if we will have to fight to the death. When our bodies respond in this way, it is called the "fight or flight response." In the first step of this response, adrenaline shoots through your system. This causes your muscles to tense, your breath rate to increase, your heart rate to accelerate, your blood pressure to rise, and your whole metabolism to speed up. In addition, blood is shunted away from the digestive system. These reactions prepare the body to fight or run for survival. If we perceive we are threatened, our bodies automatically kick into this mode. Although this may feel bad, there are good reasons, rooted in history, that explain why the body does this.

Although we think of ourselves as modern, our technological world with its cars and planes has existed for less than a hundred years. In fact, our minds and bodies are still very much the same as our ancestors’ were thousands of years ago. They evolved in a world in which quick reflexes meant survival. Our bodies are so well developed in this way that they are able to react even faster than we can consciously think. So before you know it, our fight or flight response is triggered. It can be pretty hard to have a calm conversation with someone when your adrenaline is pumping and your heart is pounding. And, unfortunately, many of us remain stuck at some level of this mode hour after hour, day after day.

What this means for us modern folks is that our poor bodies are taking a much harder beating than is really necessary. By the end of a day or work week, we may end up with stiff muscles, headaches, poor concentration, feeling irritable and downright tired—in fact, more tired than you might expect for the kind of work you were doing.

Now imagine what happens when the body is in this state over a prolonged stretch of time: when muscles are chronically tense, the heart is frequently pumping faster than necessary, the metabolism is over-working, and the mind is continually on guard worrying. If this continues long term, high blood pressure, migraines, cardiovascular diseases, gastrointestinal disorders and even diseases like diabetes can develop or worsen. In general, the body may start wearing out and breaking down. This constant stress can also lead to emotional problems like depression, anxiety, and insomnia.

So what do we do to counteract all this? Many people try to relax their bodies by smoking, drinking alcohol, or using drugs, but these methods can create even more health, social and emotional problems than the stress.

Luckily, however, the body has its own balancing mechanism called the "relaxation response." The relaxation response is a natural state that promotes health and balance in the body. The body produces its own chemicals which improve mood, slow the heart down, lower blood pressure, slow the metabolism, and encourage normal digestion. By evoking this response in ourselves we can counteract the harmful effects of our daily stress reactions. What’s more, we can even learn to lessen our reactions and to look at life a little differently, so that we are not locked into believing we are in perpetual "life and death" struggles.

Unlike the fight or flight response, the relaxation response is not quite so automatic. It takes a little more time and effort to evoke. However, there are many simple and fun ways to do this. It may not be the quick fix that you get from a pill; but the changes that happen are real, tangible and can last a lifetime, as long as you continue to practice these simple and enjoyable activities. These activities need to become a regular habit. They are the most effective when you do them daily, even if it is for only 15 minutes a day. As you practice, you may get used to what it feels like to be in that relaxed state and then you may start remembering it during the day, and week by week your stress level can begin to change.

The Activities

Walking is the simplest way to evoke the relaxation response. As you let yourself get into a regular rhythm, letting your arms swing, and letting your mind go, healing chemicals are released and the body and the mind begins to settle. When you are angry, upset, tense, or worried, a good 15-30 minute walk can change your perspective, feelings, and chemistry. Any similar activity that is rhythmic and repetitive like jogging, biking or swimming can also help create the relaxation response.

Yoga, tai chi, and qigong are designed specifically to evoke this response. These exercises all use stretching, relaxing and repetitive movements to help move the mind and body into this relaxed and peaceful state. You can learn these simple methods from a local class or video. When practiced on a daily basis, they can make a big difference in your health and well being.

Meditation - there are many different forms of meditation. No matter what form is used, they all provide a direct mental approach to evoke this response. Meditation is not a religious practice, although some religions use it. In all these approaches, the two secret ingredients to creating the relaxation response are to 1) hold a focused awareness on something mentally relaxing or soothing and 2) gently return to the focus when the mind wanders off. Spending fifteen minutes a day practicing a relaxation technique like meditating, focusing on your breath, or consciously relaxing your muscles has been shown to significantly improve health and mental states.

You can also try taking little "mini-relaxation breaks" during the day when you’re feeling so tense that your shoulders feel stuck up around your ears. The fastest and most direct method to use is relaxing breaths. Because the lungs are directly connected to the heart, by slowing the breath down we can actually slow the heart down and thereby lower blood pressure as well. When doing this, it is important to remember that the body naturally relaxes on the exhale. So if you do a few repeated long slow exhales, you should get the feel of relaxation right away.

Through regular practice of the relaxation response, we can begin to take control of our minds and bodies again, and learn to keep ourselves calmer and more relaxed throughout the day, which in turn makes our lives healthier and more enjoyable. Remember, these activities have powerful health benefits. Regular practice can allow you to rely less heavily on outside controls like alcohol, nicotine, and drugs. What kind of habit would you rather develop? It’s up to you. But like Flip Wilson used to say, "Don’t expect to hit the jackpot if you don’t put a few nickels in the machine." In other words you’ve got to practice this stuff for it to help.